Four months and counting...

My first three weeks has now turned into four months...wow how time flies when you aren’t having fun, LOL!! OK OK it is not that bad!!! It appears I have a real heightened sense of smell in Iraq. I am always close my eyes and see if I can smell any familiar smells...besides the overwhelming smell of feces in the air! Yes, SHIT, that is a norm here, even though that is anything BUT normal. When we used to run outside a lot I would get nauseous so much that I began to wake up nauseous before even leaving my room. However, on a more happy note some soldiers were barbecuing today and it smelled fantastic, I closed my eyes, took in the aroma, pictured LeBaron on the patio grilling and I enjoyed that moment very much. There are the little things I have learned to take pleasure in, like seeing a butterfly...I thought that was amazing. At that moment I was caressed by God with the gift of a butterfly, it even waited for me to snap a picture. Then there are the foxes, I love to see animals of any kind since we do not get to take pleasure in household pets that many of us love. I never really thought about how much we would be giving up when we came to this place. Our canvass is bare, there is no color here, I walked with my head either always looking at the blue sky with it’s various shades as the day goes on or I am staring at the ground because there are so many rocks and I am clumsy. It is sometimes as if we are in a picture with out a scene, it lacks depth here, life, substance... I never expected to miss loud music playing in a car going by, children in the street, neighbors dog barking, a car door slamming, trees, grass, walking Hip Hop (even in the rain), snow, cooking, rainbows, snoring, washing dirty clothes...

I value people that I left behind more and cherish the gift of Love in a different way than I ever have before. Even the people that make my head throb are a source of entertainment, I can laugh at the absurdity of the violations of the many rules we must follow while we are here and I am reminded daily that God has an extremely great sense of humor! I thought when I started this journey and this blog that I would have so much to report about this place, but really I do not! What IS extraordinary about being here are the people and what comes out of each of us while we are here. At first I complained about not knowing anyone and how I wish I had gotten to know everyone so I would not have felt so lonely and been so insecure around them. What I have realized is that being here in this situation I get to see people for who they truly are... and what they are capable of and unfortunately lot of what I see I do not like, so now I realized how blessed I am that I don’t have to “break-up” with folk while I am here, since I had nothing vested in them in the first place. I can read about them in a legal packet, listen to their incessant chatter, watch who they form meaningless relationships with, hear how they talk behind other peoples back, hear how they cheat on their husbands and wives or painfully talk to them for 5 minutes and I walk away, literally walk away. Someone here said to me “ I am picky who I spend my time with...” and I couldn’t agree more.