I am a terrific actor.
i get up and look at myself and act like i am ok with how my hair looks
i walk to work and smile, salute and laugh when i really want to cry
on a good day i dont have to act and i do not have to pretend to be listening
most days are good, but when i need to act, i can fuckin' act
i am a good damn actor
i act like i am listening but i stare at the wall
i act like i am engaged but your voice just gets lower and lower
i practice conversations before they happen so i do not have to think
i am tired of thinking, “what if?” and “when?”
i do not know the future but i know i am a fabulous actor
i won’t allow myself a minute of being alone with my thoughts because a monster creeps in
i dream in color in the dark, but never remember anything but the colors
i take a deep breath, smile and open the door and walk outside
time to start pretending...one day closer to being home again.
So that is your next adventure!! Acting!! ;0)
ReplyDeleteJust remember who your personal assistant will be!!!
And now for the serious part.... Unfortunately, many people have to pretend in order to 'get by' on a daily basis. I know I had to quite a few times. Pretend everything was okay. It's a menacing circle of life i suppose. I just hope that you are able to come home with something other than the feeling of "lost time". You are doing so much good where you are, and I hope that you can see that. You might not even know it, but I am sure someone there is looking up to you. You are a born leader and your smile is what makes you light up!! Keep smiling..... although I hope you are doing it with your eyes ;0)
Thank you Bestie!! You words help me a lot. Love you
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